Saturday, May 06, 2006
Spiritual Reunions, Grandma
My grandma and I were very close, and I always felt dearly loved when I was with her. A few years ago she asked me to promise her that she would never go into a home if she became ill. I promised that I would make sure that that would never happen.
Last year my aunt and I were the primary care-givers for my grandma when she was dying with pancreatic cancer.
While grandma was sick I was having a difficult time in my marriage and I didn't go home to my husband for the last three months of my grandma's life.
Even after she passed I preferred to stay at her house rather than go home while I figured out my next step.
Every night when I went home to grandma's house after she passed on I would find the light on the bedside table to the guest room turned on. I'm acompulsivee energy conserver (left over from the "energy crisis" of the 70's) and I know I wasn't leaving that light on!
When my grandma was healthy and whenever I went to visit her overnight she would always have my bedside light on for me in the guest room if I went out for the evening. Always.
But rather than feel spooked by this, I found it to be a comfort. I felt happy at night to come home to that one little light on in the house. I should also say that I was the only one in the neighborhood with the key other than my Aunt. In any case no one else knew of her lighting habit with me.
This went on uninterrupted for a couple of weeks that warm still summer. And when I found myself drawn to sleeping in her room rather than the guest room, the light started to be on in her room rather than the guest room as before.
All was quiet until one night when my husband came over to confront me about whatI intended to do. He was angry with me and raising his voice he demanded that I come "home" with him.
I told him that I wasn't ready to come home yet, that I was too deeply grieved about my grandma to know what I wanted to do yet about us.
Then he yelled at me "Screw your grandma, she'd dead! I'm alive!" No sooner than he finished his rant the tightly closed front door to her house slammed open, then shut again and the lights TV flicked off then on again!
My stunned husband grew quiet and uttered a quick "Sorry grandma" then he leapt up from the couch and hurried out of the house.
After he left, the night was quiet and still again and the warm air was fragrant with the sweet perfume of Jasmine and Ben Gay.
Ben Gay had been my grandma's favorite cure all for "hundreds of years" as she liked to say. She rubbed it on whatever body part ailed her every night as long as can remember.
If you happened to complain within her earshot of some ache or pain, she'd get out the Ben Gay and commence to massaging the menthal ointment into the offending joint muscle. "Here comes Dr. Joseph" she would practically sing and her whole face would light up as she worked the the magic into your feet or back.
It's been over a year since my grandma has passed over and my bedside light only illuminates when I turn it on now, but sometimes I swear I get a faint whiff of Ben Gay....